I already broke my New Year's resolutions

Dear Carolyn,

I’ve already broken all of my New Year’s resolutions and it’s only January! I can’t tell you how much this upsets me. Here are the ones I’ve broken:
Don’t eat any sweets
Don’t drink any soda unless it’s diet soda
Walk every day
Keep track of everything I eatI don’t think these are too hard so what does it say about me that I can’t keep up with them?
Please help. I’m at the end of my rope.

Jay

Dear Jay,
Think of the calories you are burning with all this beating up on yourself! The negative energy you are expending on your failures only adds fuel to the fire. Stop right now! What is in the past is over and done with. Start your resolutions right this minute. Today, you will not eat sugary foods or drinks, you will write in your food diary and you will take a walk as soon as you stop the truck.
Let the past go and start with the moment. You can do it; just do it more gently.
Just say’n,
Carolyn

Get control of the stuff in your life!

Dear Carolyn,
My sleeper is out of control. There’s stuff everywhere, I can’t find anything I need and it depresses me to realize I’m living like a pig. I don’t know where to begin getting control of my life. Can you help me get started?
Jake

Dear Jake,
If you mean can I literally help? Like have you pull your rig into my driveway and I climb aboard with trash bags and Windex? Uh, that would be a big fat NO. But if you mean, how do YOU start, then, maybe I can be of service. I’ve had to practice tough love on my own slovenly nature and know who hard it can be to get started. However, you already took the first major step by identifying the problem and astutely realizing that the clutter is not just about the stuff in your truck, it’s about taking control of your life. Well done. Pats you on the back.
Now. Get about 5 hefty bags, some boxes and some cleaning materials. Next, start sorting through the stuff. Make three piles: keep, give, toss. The keep bag has to be stuff you really need on the road. The give category can be stuff you once needed and might need but have not used in the last year. Give that bag to a local charity. The toss bag should be the fattest. Throw out old magazines, newspapers, broken stuff, hideous stuff and anything else that you’d be ashamed to give to Goodwill.
Clean thoroughly.
Make a vow to never add anything to your truck until you get rid of something.
I’m just say’n

Happy New Year!

Dear Readers,
Just wanted to wish everyone a happy healthy New Year! Resolve to do something better this year. Add a walk to your day. Eat less sweets. Do a random act of kindness. Call your mother. Adopt a pet from a shelter. Read a book. Try something new. Do one thing that scares you.
Oh, and be careful out there!
Just Say'n,
Carolyn

Trucking and the single life

Dear Carolyn,
It sucks to be single over the holidays. I know some guys talk about a girl in every town but the life of a single trucker is a lonely one. I don’t know how to even begin trying to get a date with a nice girl. Heh heh, I said “nice” girl.
Kurt

Dear Kurt,
Funny you should mention it. I’m looking for stories about the good, bad and ugly of the single life of truck drivers. Anyone out there want to share your dating tips with Kurt and all the rest of the truckers who write to me asking how to meet someone?
Just say’n
Carolyn

Let the holiday rumpus begin!

Dear Carolyn,
I am already going out of my mind with the holiday hoopla. I can't get it all done. It's impossible. Do you have any stress relief tips? I'm desperate.
Chuck

Dear Chuck,
Take. A. Deep. Breath. Repeat.
Hey, next, take a walk. Then, make a list. After that, just sort of move through it with the goal to make steady progress. Don't let the holiday stress own you. Take charge of what needs to be done. And let all the expectations and commercialism float by.
And then take another walk.
I'm just say'n,
Carolyn

Holidays and the single life

Dear Carolyn,

I’ve been divorced for 20 years and am happily single. The life of a long-haul trucker is hard on relationships and families. While I have met great gals over the years, I’ve been upfront with my lack of interest in anything permanent. Mostly, they seem okay with the idea but in the end, they leave for someone who wants to commit. I get that.
The only time I’m a little unsure about my choice to stay single is over the holidays. It’s all about families and you can’t get away from it. I don’t want anyone’s pity because it’s my own choice.
Sometimes, I wonder if I’m wrong and everyone else is right.
What do you think?
Dave

Dear Dave,
I don’t think everyone is suited for marriage. You gave it a try and it wasn’t for you. Plenty of my letters come from people who are unhappy and lonely in their marriage but don’t want to leave because they are afraid of the single life. You seem to have made peace with your choices and that is a good thing. So, what can we do about all the sappy Christmas songs, movies and advertisements relentlessly bombarding us with their unrealistic Holiday expectations?
Nothing.
Just let it drift by.
Just a thought though. Consider doing volunteer work over the holidays. Work at a homeless shelter or deliver toys for tots. Create your own version of Christmas that suits you.
Just say’n,
Carolyn

No hiding in the closet!

Dear Carolyn,

Ive got one for you. I am an attractive, small, gay female driver/mover. Seventy-five percent of the males out here just love me until the dreaded "come on " starts and I respond appropiately that Im certainly not interested! Some are very sweet and politely give up. However, most start the whole "gay bashing" thing that can get very ugly.

I realize that the trucking industry is still in the dark ages but that's not my burden. In their warped minds all gay females are supposed to look like unattractive, overweight males. Because this is not the case for me OR my girlfriend,this tends to really upset them.

I work very hard, pay my bills,and try to do my part in this world to be helpful to others. I am NOT willing to go into a closet for ANYONE!!!!

Thanks for listening to me!

Charli

Dear Charli,
Well, sounds like you handle yourself just fine! It's too bad that you've had to deal with the bad apples because most truckers, in my opinion, are happy for a little conversation and human intereaction after a long day on the road. For those who want to give you a hard time instead of treating you like an equal, that's their problem.
Oh yeah. You already said that.
Carry on!
Just Say'n,
Carolyn

Go or Stay?

Dear Carolyn,

I want to end my relationship with my girlfriend but I can’t seem to get it done. Every time I bring up my dissatisfaction with our relationship, she talks me down from the ledge. I agree that we are perfectly compatible, have the same values and interests and generally get along well. I also agree that we’d make good parents and could grow old together. But what she doesn’t get is that I’ve never had the chance to date around and enjoy the single life like all my other friends do. We met in high school and I’ve never been with another girl. It’s time to either break up or figure out how to get happy.
Is it so wrong to want a little freedom?
Jamie

Dear Jamie,
No. Yes. I don’t know. I will say this. The single life is not all it’s cracked up to be. Most of my letters come from people longing for a perfectly compatible partner they can grow old with.
That said, in all fairness to your girlfriend, you should cut her loose. She ought to see it coming since you’ve tried and failed to break up before. Be prepared for it to be less fun than you think it will be. But then again, if you aren’t feeling it, it’s probably not there. No amount of talking you down from the ledge is going to replace that loving feeling.
I’m just say’n

Green-eyed monster

Dear Carolyn,

My husband is driving me crazy with his controlling, jealous behavior. He’s always snooping through my cell phone calls and reading my text messages. I don’t have anything to hide and have never given him reason to not trust me. How can I get him to stop snooping? I’m at the end of my rope. He says he’s been burned before (his ex wife cheated on him) and wants to make sure it never happens again.
I’m not sure I can take it anymore.
Please help.
Cindy

Dear Cindy,
Jealousy is one of those evil emotions that defy logic. He is controlled by his own fears and that’s got to stink for him. However, it’s no picnic for you either. I always tell people that there are no guarantees of fidelity or lasting love. All you can do is assure him you honor your vows but deserve your privacy. Stand up for yourself now or this could go downhill quickly.

Should I "friend" her?

Dear Carolyn,

Thirty years ago I broke up with my high school girl friend an hour before our senior prom. I left for the army a few weeks later and eventually settled into the life of a long haul trucker. We happen to live in the same general area now even though I’ve never run into her since that day I left her high and dry..
I’ve always felt rotten about how I treated her and have often thought about writing her a letter of apology and including a check for the dress and shoes she didn’t get to wear. However, I never acted upon the thought.
Fast forward to a few days ago. My son set me up on Facebook and within a few minutes, I found her.
I’ve been divorced for years and I see by her status that she’s a divorcee. She’s also aged pretty well-- not that that’s important to me.
Well. Yes it is. But you already know I’m a jerk.
Anyway. What should I do? Should I “friend” her? Should I wait to see if she “friends” me? Is there proper etiquette regarding online contact?

Brian

Dear Brian,
Wow, you are into proper etiquette? I would have never guessed. Okay, so I’ll grant you a pass due to the statue of limitations. We should not be held responsible for our high school behavior. Or, at least it shouldn’t be a life sentence.
I think you should “friend” her. If she accepts, I think it would be appropriate to apologize for your caddish behavior back in the day and offer to treat her to a nice diner somewhere.

Be prepared for three decades of pent up rage. Or not. She may very well say, Brian who?
That’s what I’d advise her to say.
But she’s not writing to me.
Yet.
Just Say’n